She was a soap opera actress in the '50s and '60s, so we think she just enjoys the attention. My parents have talked to her about her behavior, and nothing has changed. My mother asked that we invite her. I called my grandmother and told her that I want to invite her to the wedding, but that I'm worried about her upsetting other guests. She laughed, and told me, "That's just who I am, can't change now," and made it clear that she expects to be invited. How should I manage this? Future Groom Dear Groom: Your blow-hard granny has thrown down the gauntlet by declaring her intention to offend others. If you definitely don't want her there, then don't invite her (her insults toward you and your fiance are reason enough to exclude her), but if including her is important to your mother, then you should consider it. You might be able to marginalize granny enough that you can reduce her from being the offensive center-of-attention, to the rude, eccentric elderly lady who keeps trying to smoke at the reception hall. Let her know that you actually do expect her to behave differently than usual while at your wedding.
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